Difficult

My double vision is only amplifying everything he isn't
'Til I feel less attached and bored to death, but listen
It's no one's fault, it's just my terrible condition
And I've been thinking that if I move out this year
I'll feel my parents slipping away
And also I'm just scared of that commitment
I really think sometimes there's something that I'm missing

Oh, I know I'm spiraling
It's miserable
I should probably go back home
Why does that feel difficult, difficult
Oh, I hope I'll wake up invisible
I'd be someone no one knows
I guess I'm just difficult

It's a nameless feeling
I take a hundred thousand years, some kind of grieving
But over what, I've never had
So I've been speaking to my therapist
I call her every weekend
I meant to tell you how I've hated how we left things when it fell through
'Cause you were everything to me
Where did you run to?
Was it something that I said that colored you blue?

Oh, I know I'm spiraling
It's miserable
I should probably go back home
Why does that feel difficult, difficult
Oh, I hope I'll wake up invisible
I'd be someone no one knows
I guess I'm just difficult, difficult
I am a difficult girl

'Cause I've been drinking
And staying up too late reliving that decision
I thought eventually my rant in here would fix it
I really think sometimes there's something that I'm missing

Oh, I know I'm spiraling
It's miserable
I should probably go back home
Why does that feel difficult, difficult
Oh, I hope I'll wake up invisible
I'd be someone no one knows
I guess I'm just difficult
Oh, I know I'm spiraling
It's miserable
I should probably go back home
Why does that feel difficult, difficult
Oh, I hope I'll wake up invisible
I'd be someone no one knows
I guess I'm just difficult, difficult