Never Before...Never Again...Again

Never Before did I understand, and never could I ever reason why.
but never before did I lose the hand that kept me from the pain of lonely nights.
Never Before did I hate my bed and dread the complete depletion of the light.
Never Before have I felt so dead, I cannot scrape the vision from my eyes.

Confusion. Illusion. Insomnia. Depression.

Never Before have I ever.
Never Before have I suffered.
And never have I been so low, but at least now I know.
Never will I be here again, cause I lose the only part that can.

Never Before did I feel the words that all the greatest writers never hide.
Never Before did I hold my friends when they looked so desolate that they could die.
Never did I think I wouldn't have you, so I kept you stationed by my side.
Somehow I thought you would always be there, but now I know forever is a fucking life.

Rejection. Reflection. Realization. Liberation.

Never Before and never again.
Never Before, never again. Never have I, have I.
Never have I been so low, but at least now I know.
Never will I live here again, cause I lost the only part that can.

And never have I felt like shit.
Sometimes I wish that you did.
And I hope I never live here again.
But I fear that it may happen, but I fear that it will happen....Again.