Damocles

Here's a moment
And another and another and another; another
Guess I'm still here
What to do with this awareness?
I still will to pay the price
And I'm not alone in this, but I'm alone in here
These tired, sunken eyes and labored breath
Just superficial bubbles
Sent gasping from a struggle down so deep
A weight that I can't even see myself
It's just another birthday
I'm still drippin' wet
I trade my mother's ocean
For a nightmare's clammy residue
Sweat on top of sweat
The candles find the details
Daylight never sees inside my room
Hangin' by a thread of my own hair
A single thread of my despair
I stand impaled by it
To this small plot of ground; I fully know
I know it dangles there
This sharpened edge slowly turns; I said I'd wait
I'll wait beneath the karma hangin' overhead
There's a dark-haired, fair-skinned gypsy
Hiding sadness in a half-smile
'Cross the table turning pages; deciphering my fate
She claims I was an old soul
In a body born to find a way to leave
From this world of fading flavor
Grown impatient with illusion
And I indulge myself
Wallow in the safety of her eyes; brown eyes
We both know where this leads
Why give it voice?
Why make her lie?
So I just choose to keep my questions to myself
Gone away; I won't invite myself
Whatever's happening will happen
Why should I hope or fear?
Decayed old corpse; decoy life's harpies
So the boy can slip away and escape
The boy can slip away and escape
If I could read the child a story
Would she tell me one in turn?
So we both might drift away to gentle sleep
She'll wave goodbye to my devils
I'll say "Goodnight, moon"
Till angel fingers slowly, softly lower
These reluctant lids
Hand sinks down, down, down
In a trance-like prophecy; goodnight nobody
On an empty cryptic page; goodnight nobody
And there I am again
Impaled upon this small and empty page
But now I know who this "Nobody" is
And if this child can find me
So well hidden; has it fallen?
Am I already dead and risen?
Safe to walk away
Laugh at what I thought I was; smile at what I pray I am