The Solitaire

"The terrible fear of not finding what is in your stargazing.
The dread of showing who you really are
Inside, being aware of all your grey living within yourself.
Does the little space between sleep and
Awakening, where you can still remember dreaming really exist?
The doubt of it all makes you a 'solitaire'.
But one day you will find you are not alone and that you never will be."

Backwards I'm covering miles along
A war I'm battling alone
Against waves during a storm

Against golden oceans of grain
Between the bluebells and the sand
I'm arid and backhand

I feel impurest empty
Forlorn, sharpened tempty
Samaritan where I belong
I have been crowned grey inside

This night is never ending
Pitch black, hell descending
Gathering into the abyss
I am the enslaved solitaire

Midnight the candle sputters slow
Illuminates my sins and sakes
As the winter leaves its wakes

Starwards, back to back with
My unconscious fear to face the truth
But tonight I'll come for you

At first glance I'll belong to you
At second hand you will taste my irrelevance
At last you will feel my solitude
And you will walk away

I feel impurest empty
Forlorn, sharpened tempty
Samaritan where I belong
I have been crowned grey inside

This night is never ending
Pitch black, hell descending
Gathering into the abyss
I am the enslaved solitaire

The third is the sympathetic age
And then you will finally have fear
At last you will feel my solitude
And it will be too late

I feel impurest empty
Forlorn, sharpened tempty
Samaritan where I belong
I have been crowned grey inside

This night is never ending
Pitch black, hell descending
Gathering into the abyss
I am the enslaved solitaire