Watch My Promise Die

Caught in the spiral
Of constant fear
Numb to the sickness
Distance myself from my blessings
Comfort in my sabotage of self
Embracing their poison (with a tightened grasp)
The pen bleeds
Tearing myself from the inside

Run from the light
Watch my promise die

I beg myself not to let you down

As I feel myself sink to the ground
Strip me of my flesh
Take what's left

Swallow the hate
Internalize
Killing desire
Desire to thrive
I let their teeth sink
Toxic venom stirs within
The doubt consumes everything

Is this the path that's meant for me?
How long must I grow to find comfort and peace?
Will the fear subside?

If I give up will I be (able to breathe?)
Staring into hollow eyes
Run from the light
Drowning in my own shame
Run from the light
Shattered reflections of you
Watch my promise die