Ampersand

I walk down my street at night

The city lights are cold and violent

I am comforted by the approaching sound of trucks and sirens

Even though the world's so bad, these men rush out to help the dying

And though I am no use to them, I do my part by simply smiling



The ghetto boys are catcalling me

As I pull my keys from my pocket

I wonder if this method of courtship has ever been effective

Has any girl in history said "Sure, you seem so nice, let's get it on"

Still, I always shock them when I answer, "Hi, my name's Amanda"



And I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand

And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am

And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely

No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy



I have wasted years of my life agonizing about the fires I started

When I thought that to be strong, you must be flame retardant

And now to dress the wounds calls into question how authentic they are

There's always someong criticizing me: "She just likes playing hospital"

Lying in my bed, I remember what you said: "There's no such thing as accidents"



But you've got the headstone all ready, all drawn up and pretty

Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching

The headstone's all push up'n, pairs to the horizon

Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying



The headstone's all ready, all carved up and pretty

Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching

The daisies all push up'n, pairs to the horizon

Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying



But I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand

And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am

And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely

No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy



As I wake up to a cough, the fire burned the block but ironically

Stopped at my apartment and my housemates are all sleeping soundly

And nobody deserves to die for you were awful adament

That if I didn't love you then you had just one alternative



And I may be romantic and I may risk my life for it

But I ain't gonna die for you, you know I ain't no Juliet

And I'm not gonna match, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely

No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy