Barbie

She was the secret daughter of Marilyn Monroe
You couldn't guess the father if you don't know
Joan Crawford adopted, called her baby Jane
We all knew her by a different name

Barbie, the untold story
Just remember, you heard it first from me
Barbie, the untold story
I'll tell you the truth for a phenomenal fee

Just when family tensions were at their worst
She met her best friend, Miss Patty Hearst
They found a higher power over at Betty Ford -
It was a vibrator on a Ouija board

Barbie, the untold story
Just remember, you heard it first from me
Barbie, the untold story
I'll tell you the truth for a phenomenal fee

She studied theatre at UCLA
And dated O.J. once, I'm sorry to say
But then came Ken, the star in her play
She was shattered to learn that he was gay!

Barbie, the untold story
Just remember, you heard it first from me
Barbie, the untold story
I'll tell you the truth for a phenomenal fee

Made a career leadin' cheers for the L.A. Lakers
Then became the main mistress of the Rev. Jim Baker
Helped him hear his messages from the Lord
With a vibrator and a Ouija board

Barbie, the untold story
Just remember, you heard it first from me
Barbie, the untold story
I'll tell you the truth for a phenomenal fee
For a phenomenal fee