Halloween

Halloween was my favorite holiday as a kid
I got to dress up like all the people that I wanted to be
I was a pirate one year, and my big sister was a princess
We were poor, so next year we switched

Just kidding

Then I was Paladin, he was played on TV by Richard Boone
I got my costume at the Walgreens in a cardboard box
It was a one-piece suit with a pistol and a holster drawn in glitter
For a dollar ninety-eight you had to use your imagination

I had a crush on Amy Auerbach and Suzie Gomberg in the second grade
The most popular girls in school, I didn't have a chance with them
Big feet, crooked teeth, and two-tone glasses
I had a built-in costume for Halloween every day in second grade

End of October, my big revelry had rolled around fast
And Doctor Kildaire was a popular show in TV that year
So my mother bought a little doctor's shirt and I decided that I'd wear it to school
I'd be Ben Casey 'cause he's the one who had the dark hair

When I showed up at school that day the girls were giggling
And I couldn't figure out what for til I saw Amy Auerbach
She was all dressed up like a nurse, and me like a doctor
We were instantly romantically linked and everyone was tittering

I was embarrassed, I wanted to run outside a dig a big hole
And jump to China, or even further if I possibly could
Then Amy smiled
I think it was at Joey Romanelli

So I tossed that doctor's shirt
Traded it in for a cape
Next year I began my career as
The Man of Steel