All My Best Friends Are Behind Bars

Philosophers and poets
And songwriters, too
Have told stories through the ages
About what friends can do to you
Their envy and betrayal
Can drive a man to drink
It can land a man in jail
And that is why I think

All my best friends are behind bars
Sometimes, we take things a bit too far
I don't mean they're bad men
Please don't take it wrong when I say
All my best friends are behind bars

I've spent the better part of my adult life
Fightin' with best friends and arguin' with wives
And tryin' to convince some judge I'm just misunderstood
Then a bartender showed me the secret to life
Was a smooth sippin whiskey and a handful of ice
Since then, it's been downhill life's been good

That's why all my best friends are behind bars
Sometimes, we take things a bit too far
But most of them are top shelf
Which makes me a little higher my own self and that's why
All my best friends are behind bars

Jim and Jack, help me through hard times
Jose and I, we party till sunrise
Johnny Walker helps me walk the line

That's why all my best friends are behind bars
Sometimes, we take things a bit too far
But most of them are top shelf
Which makes me a little higher my own self and that's why
All my best friends are behind bars

I don't mean they're bad men
Please don't take it wrong when
I say all my best friends are behind bars