Love Potion No. 9

I took my troubles down to madame rue
you know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth
she's got a pad down on 34th & vine
sellin' little bottles of love potion no. 9

I told her that I was a flop with chicks
I've been this way since 1956
she looked at my palm and she made a magic sign
she said: "what you need is love potion no. 9!"

she bent down and turned around
and gave me a wink
she said: "I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink!"
it smelled like turpentine, it looked like indian ink
I held my nose, I closed my eyes
I took a drink

I didn't know if it was day or night
I started kissin' everything in sight
but when I kissed a cop down on 34th & vine
he broke my little bottle of love potion no. 9...