Killing Fate

I lie awake staring at the dark thinking of you and hating me at the same time for things I've said and things I've done I torture myself with my own thoughts deep inside I'm drowning I hold my breath then breathe so that I won't die aching from the pain I won't let go I can't release a surrealistic conviction my shadow worships you I've been burned time after time I don't doubt I will again I don't doubt that I will be burned again I don't doubt that I will again I wish the only thing that holds you from me is that you lie in the hands of someone else I torture myself look what I do to me surrealistic conviction my shadow worships you I don't doubt that I will be burned again and again and again and again all these words are meaningless what I want takes no words at all I need I need I need I need to express what I can what I can not