Grave Situation Pt. 1

Well here's a little story about a woman that I knew.
It's no allegory, I guarantee it's all quite true.
So I expect you to believe me, though you won't believe your ears.
Pay attention: listen up, though you may tremble with fear.

You see this woman that I spoke of had a quarrel with her lover.
It seems she had discovered he'd been sleeping with another
and it was on this very spot in June of 1987
fought and then he shot her and she died and went to heaven.

Or at least that's what the priest said as he read the funeral rights
but something strange was going on amongst the tombstones that night.
Just when everybody thought her immortal soul was saved
we were quite concerned to see that she had risen from the grave

She said, "aloha, i'm back, I've got some business to do.
I'll be back in my casket before the night is through,
but first I'll pay a visit to a certain prison cell
to see my cheating husband and send him straight to hell."

We were speechless as she left us to find the fiend she'd married
until someone said, "She's looking good for a girl that's just been married.
But you know we ought to stop her. Should we call up the police?"
I said, "She's the living dead. They can do as they please."

Besides, she was heading straight for the station house herself,
where her husband was awaiting trial in a holding cell.
The sergeant was surprised to see a corpse walk through the door,
but he said, "Sorry ma'am, visiting hours are 2:00 to 4:00."

She laughed and said, "I'm dead and I don't have all day,
so if you'd kindly stand aside and show me the way..."
And the Sergeant said, "Okay then, he's in cell number six."
"Besides," he thought, "I really don't get paid enough for this."

He was sleeping on his cot when she came into the cell
and ever since the murder he had not slept very well.
When he opened up his eyes at first he thought it was a dream,
but she began to speak before he had a chance to scream.

"Aloha, I'm back, I've got some business to do.
I'll be back in my casket before the night is through.
But first I'll make you pay for your cheating and your lies
so honey...prepare to die."

Some say it was a heart attack, some say it was a stroke,
and some will say the whole thing was invented just as a joke
but I tell you it's a fact, it all happened right here.
When he saw his undead wife he simply died of fear.

"Aloha, I'm back, I've got some business to do.
I'll be back in my casket before the night is through.
But first I'll pay a visit to a certain prison cell
and see my cheating husband and send him straight to hell."