Fin De Siècle

now my child, you would be five; through everything by my side

in this fin de siècle spirit; this age of selfishness

did we permit everything to slip away?

did i lose everything i believed in?

is there no tomorrow? only thoughts for today

is there no tomorrow? i trusted you



should you have been brought into this cold dark world

fatherless, abandoned with our child within

in this life there are no fathers not on heaven nor on earth

we spend our life searching for this lost fragment of our soul

immersed in self-indulgence is there no hope for beauty?

whose arms are big enough to hold my fears?

already i have more than i can bare.



this life i once opened to joy

now lies twisted in pain

this is dying and not loving

the honey now flows with blood



i will die with this guilt..... knowing i betrayed myself.