Lost Perfection a. Coulrophobia

These hours seem like years...I've been staring at this wall, wondering
when it's going to take all of our lives. I'm just glad we have jokes. I
think way too much back here. My eyes are slowly closing; boredom is
causing this loss of interest. When will I awake? Asleep...
This party of four includes three grown adults and myself. The first
adult is very shy and wise enough to keep the second one from
conversation. (They're on a mission). Gender is not recognized. The
third adult is a male and talks too much. The stench of shit is in the
air...
The room storms with laughter...fours turns into a hundred and the noise
is unbearable. "It's time, you are in hell, this place will kill itself
soon!"
I cry, and the hands surround me. Born into a hell...
I never wanted to wake to this. I hae experienced nothing, yet I feel I'm
the only one who has not done harm. If only I could understand how to
change things...I can't fucking think. The noise is unbearable. THE
noise STOPS.