The Weight And The Cost

I’ll do my best to try and answer the question
Because it’s keeping me up, it’s wearing me out, and I want you to know
When I was your age I was already a mess
I look at you now and I’m not sure how that you’ve grown up so strong

If I had known that it would hurt this bad
To wake up, I’m not sure I would have
It breaks my heart that it makes you so sad
And to think of the life that you probably could have had
If I had known that it would hurt this bad
To try to make sense of the thoughts in my head
I’m running out of words, and for those that I’ve hurt
I’m not who I wish I were

I’m distant, longing, absent, and vacant
A goodnight kiss, how much have I missed, I might never be sure
My thoughts are buried in a box in the basement
You’re just a kid, you shouldn’t have to forgive me for the things that you’ll learn
My beautiful girl

If I had known that it would hurt this bad
To wake up, I’m not sure I would have
It breaks my heart that it makes you so sad
And to think of the life that you probably could have had
If I had known that it would hurt this bad
To try to make sense of the thoughts in my head
I’m running out of words, and for those that I’ve hurt
I’m not who I wish I were
In the blink of a moment, I feel the weight and the cost
Of years desperately hoping, when I was so hopelessly lost
As the night falls and days pass, I am filled with regret
Oh, how I wish I could say that I could make sense of the thoughts in my head
I’m anxious and aging with things that I have never said