Nightmare

Is this depression
Who loves attention
When I'm knocked down
I don't get the chance to live

Is this karma
Or it payback?
Hope is I know will cure me

'Cause I just want to know myself
I just want to love myself

Looking back, I would fade
It was something to blind me from
The emptiness and pain
So what's the point to all this mess?
When a face worth shaving
Is worth a soul worth saving

I give it all to keep distance
From my lover scorn my father
You know what it made me
I'll never be set free

A little bit of guiltiness
With the person you lay in bed with
All their secrets really feel pathetic
It takes a lot to feel this close
If I had, If I had, If I had
If I had a choice

Everybody wants to believe
That their life really is filled with meaning
(When will I be free?)

I wish I could, wish I could say everything
That I feel, without judging
Cruel world in my eyes
'Cause then I just might disguise
Speak with honesty
Set my own heart free

It's just like I said before
Is it worth even keeping score?
'Cause everything that I ever did was a mistake!

I really wish that I was better than this
I still want something that I probably won't get
It doesn't matter who you are at the start
It matters who you are when everything falls apart

I live my life like I'm going to hell
So when I get there I won't fell like I failed
From the highs, through the lies
At least I know what you're doing
A simple point, a simple fate
But I can't keep my hopes with me