Vivid And Alive

I know it's taking me forever to just give up. But I am so far below that it is hard, to just push stop.

If only I could count the times my body gave up
Maybe I would understand.

I wish I felt vivid and alive, blowing up big holes in the sky.
It's so easy for you to erase what I create in this blurry haze.

The mask I polish every evening by the morning looks like sh*t.
And my head is a wreck there's no question about it.