Playing Sadism

My thoughts are closed
By persuasive sensation,
That someone plays with me
Dangerous games,
Games of rotting of consciousness
And devastation of soul,
Games of causing me pain.

How could I not noticed before
Those nocturnal dominations
In such decent society,
Condemning all perversions by the light?
Suddenly I've realized,
That the game of sadism
Can not stand dweebs,
That sadism is a weakness of the strong,
Irresponsible walk on rotten place,
The abyss that engulfs
Deeper and deeper...

My eyes had opened and I've seen
These people avoiding my sight,
These people, who want to be on top,
The people installing
Hopelessness in me,
The people seeing only
An obedient victim in me,
The people playing sadism with me.

And the more I regain my sight,
The more everything around gets dark.
I'm already almost blind.
The contradictions have tortured my mind.
Something has emerged from the depths
And is pulled outside.
I perpetrated terrible deeds,
I found out strange bents in myself.
Suddenly I've realized
That I play as well as all.
I play sadistic games