Worst Record Ever Made

Hey, hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute I've got to talk to you. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls the worst record ever made. This has got to be garbage.

How 'bout sleeping beauty and Ray Charles.
How 'bout James Brown and Little Red Riding Hood.
How 'bout Jupiter Bulldog. How 'bout the Dragon Lady.
Hey surfers, are you listening to me? I want to hear a surfer.
Surfing that song that you're listening to.

You think there's ever been a dance called The Wheelchair?
You do it sittin' down.
Come on. Come on.
You know how hard it is to yell in a microphone
For 2 and a half minutes?
It's pretty hard.
Shows how desperate you all are.
And it shows you how desperate you all are to be listening to this.

The nitty gritty.
I wonder if they'll still be doing this when they're 74 years old.
You ever hear The Beach Boys? Or Roy Orbison?
Or The Crystals? I have, you?
How 'bout The Snowmen. Or Dan and Jane.
Or Russ Columbo. Or Glenn Miller.
Oh yeah, it's part of our culture.

How 'bout World War III on television?
Are you tired of playing that guitar? Are you?
You know, when you make a record like this, you gotta be real original and funny.
And at this point it's real sickening and horrible.
It's sickening, the music we're listening to.
Are we gonna stop Rock 'n Roll?
Are we gonna stop Rhythm and Blues?
Are we gonna stop surfing?
Hey, are we gonna stop this record?
I'm gonna stop this record right now.
Hey, hey.
No, no. Stop. Stop everything.
The public has heard enough.
I know you gotta go, but...
Oh come on
But what about, what about Bach and Beethoven and George Washington and Benjamin Franklin.
Hey. Stop.

Maybe it was the worst record in the world after all.