The Ballad Of John Cougar Mellancamp & R. Kelly

Now John Mellancamp, once Johnny Cougar
Get a life, your music sounds like a booger
The first time I saw you was on Pop-Up Video(tm)
Mom thought you were okay, but I thought you were shitty-o

And Caroline thought you were blind
She only learned diff'rent with the passage of time
Caroline...time...blind!

That singer R. Kelly likes underage girls
I heard he peed on them and that made me hurl!
"Trapped in the Closet" was an urban opera
With singles like that, it's no wonder he's popular

And Eleanor thought he was blind
She only learned diff'rent with the passage of time
Eleanor...time...blind!

But Dan never thought they were blind
He never relied on the passage of time
Dan...time...wise!