From the Deep End

I wish that this whole mess would just come to an end.
I'm so lost and I'd just be way better off dead.
Forget the ones that saved my life, 'cause I killed them.
I'm sick of trying to save you from the deep end.

What do I say when I open the door and he's already there?
How do I breathe when there is no more fucking air?
Why do I feel like dying every time I see his face?
Every moment that you spent with him I wish I could erase.

I'm alone and I've lost control
But I don't know if I'll reach my goal.
Still, I'm so low in this deep big hole of guilt.

What if I tried to act alive?
Or, If I cried, would you ask me why?
And then you'd lie and say if I died, you'd wilt.

I'm still stuck with this same fucking luck that's been here forever.
So why even try, when I'm living a lie that I just can't remember.
I'd rather be dead, and lying in bed, cause nothing gets better.
It never gets better.

I'm sick of hearing this will only hurt a little.
'Cause I'm tired of being alone and I just want someone to care.

So please wake me up from this fucking nightmare.
I'm drowning in my dreams. Never wake up, fall asleep and then I'll leave.

This past week I almost died. I'm so weak, I haven't cried.
I'm so lost, I cannot try. So lost, so lost.
Then you left and now I see. I'm just one big memory,
That you've left for me to be. Goodbye, goodbye.

This is from the deep end.